Saturday, July 31, 2010

Put things in perspective...

Life is a journey, some days it is through bountiful, fertile valleys other days over tretcherous mountian peaks.
The smooth sailing of the valleys is definitely the easiest but those scary, hard, even dangerous peaks offer a view that can be unbelievable and a chance to apprecaite the work and effort you would put into the climb.
Some of my dearest friends are going through great trials at the moment- I really feel for them - it is a big dose of life's journey all the highs and lows of the path thrown in at once.

There is a Chinese Curse, "may you be blessed with and interesting life", perhaps it is a Blessing, probably depends on the day.
I certainly got both barrels when I was born, my early life was turbulent to say the least...when I got older though, I realised I don't have to be defined by that, as I could choose what colours I would put in a painting, so I could choose how I would create my life.

It is not easy, many days.

My approach is to choose something and not spend too long thinking about it [ I am not good at procrastination- I think that is one of my strengths]
get enthusiastic and keep going till something else comes along.

I often don’t like what my head is doing/thinking so I have worked long and hard to change myself on the inside. I seriously had to retrain my responses to things as I was brought up to close down and get really, really angry about everything and then violent.

Did not like that in me, especially in the days when my boys were young and I had an abusive ex-husband still beating on the door I spent a lot of time locked in the toilet to cool off, work out a different way to respond and treat my boys well.

But, you know, with time and determination and recognition of how you react  -those negative things can just drop away. The most important thing is to just see yourself 'in it' and the change will just happen.

I watched everyone around me to see how they managed things and mimicked those I admired until I could feel that response in myself.

I am still fiery to react, not a different person completely but I don’t have a deep well of seething unrelated anger behind it these days- when I go off with a bang it is directly related to what is there in front of me and not uncontrollable like it was in the old days. Don’t need to lock myself in the toilet any more- great time saver!
Life has improved considerably but it is just like a 12 step programme, take it day by day and do what you can.

Biggest lesson for me is to learn to get out of my head/anger/worries and recognize any good little thing, any little beauty and take a second to feel appreciation- it lifts the whole calibre of the day.
Here are some small offerings from yesterday

I found just the right sparkles for a special order!
and a few little treasures like these- so beautifully made, I could not say no....what to do with them? probably etsy??
What did I say about no procrastination- I have impulsive to deal with...not held back before the fact, I have the challenge of needing quick thinking after the fact- what do I do now?
Still I think it better TO DO something rather than stayed glued to the soon becomes cemented and more and more permanent.
Visited a school set up here in Pushkar to fund education especially for girls. My friend's daughter Divya attends, I went to see her new painting of Saraswati the Goddess of Learning....a real pleasure. Along the way we passed a small temple with the most beautiful garden. It was a Shiva temple and he is a God who likes the simple life and wild places- whilst a tended garden embraced his shrine it did have the feel of luscious and fruitful jungle about it...
We finally got photograhs for a new brochure done for Hotel number 2- satisfaction of ticking something else off our long lists!! yippee
No particular worries at the moment, just taking a moment to be reflective, send love to all my mates and appreciate the small pluses of the moment

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