Friday, July 27, 2007

reality check

I have always wanted to be a teacher, I think before I even went to school and knew what a teacher does!
Being creative I never saw as something you 'did' it was just a part of life like breathing...
if I had a hobby it was dreaming of far away places, I can remeber getting books from the adult section of the library on Egypt when I was about 6 [ I know my age because I know where we living that year]and feeling so pleased to find that section of the library- such possibilities. National Geographic magazine was like heaven!
I am lucky as my life now combines all those things in large measures. It is a wonderful opportunity that The Universe has opened up for me, I feel my responsibility is to use it well.... which [unfortunately... I don't think I should use that word but am still struggling to embrace this side of things] means lots of administration type things to make it all happen smoothly.
Still very little time in the studio, ideas swimming around but I am so involved in the office side of things [ and exercising by pulling lantana weeds out!] that the studio is all lonely.
I have managed to make myself 2 new jackets- having finally found a jacket pattern I really like.
It has only taken years! The orange version is one of my Earthskins series quilts recycled. I loved the colours and pattern of this one and kept thinking I would like to wrap it around myself, so I cut is up and now I can!
The sleeves are Rayon velvet, my friend Parveen sends me from India - gorgeous when dyed. [ he is happy to send fabric packages to other people as well- email me and I will sort out the details for you]

The second jacket, which I actually made first is a very thick cotton flanel that I painted with black marks and then machine stitched in reddish colours- sort of reminds me of the bark of a scribbly gum tree.
Well I have just done my tax for the year and it was a bit of a reality check!
I have a wonderful year teaching, running tours and being so busy I have not had time to scatch myself!
Organization wise I am really starting to get things under control, financially the real costs of running a business are now becoming apparent.
Allowing something you love to become something you can share with others and support yourself with is a steep learning curve. There are so many unexpected costs in running a business- advertising, a car for business work, phone, interent....on and on it goes.
To keep me work going, to be able to give others the opportunity to experience some wonderful creative moments and have adventures in my tours means I have to organize and costs all that goes into it so I can keep going and the tours can too.
I knew this on one level but kept my head in the sand as to the fine print of applying is the time to learn.
There is something in this for all to consider- when making your work, if you are selling it, teaching it the value you set on it should adequately reflect your effort.
There is something in me that says if I love it , I should not set a price on it... I do think it is true BUT
if you don't support yourself you cannot continue to share what you have. so I suppose you need to constantly ask yourself, is this fair, does it adequately reflect the efforts I have put in, am I getting carried away and am I asking too much?
Gosh it is hard!

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