Boys, my biggest boy [ I call him that when I am being sweet- he has been having a middle aged melt down about being middle aged, I point out as long as we laugh and joke we are never old, which goes down well but calling him boy rather than Old Man also works well.]
So my biggest boy has had to take on the milking for a few days- usually Ranjit comes and does it but he has been off for a few days to visit his new baby. His wife returned to her Mother for the birth, as is traditional and will remain there for a month or so.
First day Praveen's arms and thumbs were aching but he is starting to get itno the swing of it and is really pleased with himself.
Praveen's Mum is the power in the family, she was hinting this way a while ago, we thought but now I / we have to be patient and see how it pans out. I must admit I was rather tense when they arrived...have been gently suggesting it might be a good idea for a while, the middle one Monish is a handful already and if they don't learn how to work and look after themselves we will have the responsibility the rest of our life. Praveen [and now I as we are a team] are responsible for his Mum, kids and ex-wife- no problem to me but a whole heap of other family memebers who like to sit and squawk like hungry baby birds and considering they are grown men with family and quite capable of looking after themselves if they got on with it- I want to be certain we don't grow any children like that.
Why was I tense...took me a few days to work it out--- I raised my boys alone, these 2 are the same age gap as my 2 youngest. I love my boys and am really proud of them as people, I worked really hard at being their Mum and learning how to be a good Mum, but boy was it a long, hard and lonely road. I was pretty damaged goods when I had my first child, I could start to see the programming my violent and abusive childhood had left in me and did not want to repeat it - change onlyt happens when you let it but first you do have to see what it is you are changing.
all those years of childraising[20 alone] were a great big growth curve and well worth it for all of us....
Somehow when these boys arrived I still carried a memory of the stress, exhaustion and soul searching I went through that time.
This time though Praveen is here, we are a strong couple who have also spent many years growing out of our conditionaings of being alone unloved and togther we have had a lot of fun working out a new routine including boys.
Interested to see what the Universe has in store for us both.
Mohid hung out for hours with me yesterday as I was packing, unpacking, organizing the workshop - notice Hindi -English dictionary in his lap? I have met my match for someone with persistance. We worked through word lists...his English is coming on in leaps and bounds and slowly my Hindi is improving- much exhausting fun...my poor old, hot and humid brain.
Yes Monsoon weather patten has hit, dropped 5' and humid swept in...one shower of rain, do join us in praying for more over the next few months.