Thursday, January 10, 2019

off and running

Gosh finally caught up on a lot of stuff, even had most of a day printing the other day and maybe able to get back to the print room again today.
Heaven, even though I was so tired I could hardly stay awake long enough to cook and eat dinner!

All part of my get fit and strong kick I have been on the last few months- you don’t notice getting old and lazy but it sure seems a great feat to go the other way… I know I won’t get younger, but I will hopefully feel fitter.
Interesting I have been doing yoga off an on for the last 30 years, and every so often I have felt something loosen up in my body and had a pop realization, like something has been let go.
Not sure how to explain it- but a sense of emotional freeing at the time a physical stretch improved.

Living in the home of yoga it is almost impossible out in the sticks to go to a class but I have tried some apps on my phone and so can workout each morning. The one I really like talks about strengthening the core all the time and how your core supports you, blah, blah, blah.
What I really like is the way this teacher talks you through, pull the abs in, tuck your tail, to help straighten your back…. strengthen your core so it can support you.
seems metaphorical as well as actual.... that is the way it is suggesting itself to me.

I have always slouched, as a kid I thought it was because I was always being told to pull my head in when I saw myself in school photos. Now realize, classic pose of abused kid…. Anyway, I was listening to my yoga class and trying to sort my body out, stay focused on the body and not wandering off in my head…. And something clicked into place as I got a stretch right and memories of being a kid and sexually abused by my grandfather down in the shed behind the bird aviaries just popped up- I was trying to sink into myself and disappear. Most of the problems that type of thing do to your mind and behaviour I think I have moved on from but interesting still pockets hidden in the body somewhere.
No big deal, just interesting how we are all put together, physical vehicle carrying the heart and soul.

Really like my morning yoga- I may grunt and groan but ultimately feel I am being kind to myself and feel so much better for it.
The last year has been so intense with work and trying to develop our gang and workshop- it almost toppled me over,
An acquaintance/friend has just visited and she said the reason she was looking forward to popping in was she liked my optimistic/can do practical attitude and wanted a dose :)
When she said that I thought “Not me, I am tired and grumpy and stressed out here” but really it got me thinking
Yes I do an enormous amount- 3 jobs running at any one time.
I could chuck it all if I wanted and move on. Why not we all have choices and I have been in a dark place lately- even considering it, actually.

BUT, I love my workshop and gang, I love my husband even when he is driving me crazy and I love our adventures together… what would I like to change?
Not much, just how I cope with it all and also some delegation and it would all come good.

Back to the yoga and staying present in your breathing and body, even those few moments in my day really help the rest of the day include that type of attitude. JUST BREATHE
and fit in a little block printing if you can!

This textile from Vietnam is on the bed in my yoga room- I love it, and the way it reminds me we are all the same just a little different and it is those small differences that make the magic.

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